Sunday, March 29, 2015

THE PLAN

In case you haven't figured it out by my previous posts, I'm not exactly someone who has their life together, like at all. Winter this year has been rough on me, and I've been battling with ridiculous amounts of envy towards people my age who are doing things with their lives. However, in an effort to be more positive I've spent some time really working on a plan. No more "what if's, maybe's or if only's" just real, tangible goals that I can work up towards and I think I have figured it out. For the first time I have plotted myself a real career path that I'm excited to get started on. It will be hard work, I have to re-do some high school credits, re-do some university credits but I can honestly say I have never been more excited to learn math in my life. Now that I know I can work hard to raise a child, what's to stop me from continuing (other than university tuition, childcare and other living fees) to reach higher. I will be have to work my ass off, I've already started but once I register for courses there isn't going to be much down time for the next 4-5 years but I think I can do it, I'm still young and I have an amazingly supportive family so why not.

*Disclaimer* Since writing this post my potential prospects are far less tangible than I had expected, but nevertheless I am working hard to remain optimistic and still find some way to make it work.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

SAYING THANKS

I feel like I have been very negative on this space for the last little while, this is probably due to the fact that I have been feeling very negative in my life in general the last little while. I tend to find myself slipping down a very familiar slope when the weather is cold and I am stuck indoors and those feeling have been exacerbated by feeling isolated in a foreign country, but I am determined not to let myself slip too far into bad habits this time. I wanted to just take a moment to be grateful and focus on all the positive things in my life. So no pictures, no fancy ideas, just me giving thanks for all the wonderful things I have.
one. Thank you Bean
For being the light of my life, for being able to make me smile no matter how blue I am feeling and for being the driving reason for me to get out of bed every single morning.

two. Thank you H
For providing for our little family, for supporting me while I try to figure out what to do with my life and for being so attractive it's a little bit unfair.

three. Thank you, my family
My parents, my grandmother, my sister, my aunts and really everyone have really been supportive of me and trying to help me when I come to them with problems big and small and I am also so thankful for all the love they show towards Bean, this little boy is surrounded by love.

four. Thank you, H's family
His whole family has been so welcoming towards us and very kind to me despite the language barrier. They all try to speak a little English with me which is incredible. H's parents are always happy to take Bean if we have things we have to get done, and his mom has always been able to come by if I need some extra help when H is at school. His sister-in-law has been so kind to me, checking in with me to see how I am doing and I love that we can talk about things, I wish we could spend more time together so our kids could play together too.

I have so many other things to be thankful for, and I am extremely grateful that I get to live comfortably and have access to everything that I need. I know that I need to express my gratitude more frequently. because it's hard to feel low when you focus on all the wonderful things in your life.