Friday, September 18, 2015

SAYING GOODBYE


I started this blog a year and a half ago in preparation for my big move across the world to keep my little family together. It was supposed to be my place to be creative and not get too stir crazy as a stay-at-home mom. Surprisingly starting this blog, and reading other blogs, opened me up in more ways that I could have expected. Despite my lack of posting, and not feeling like part of the blogging community I really feel like having this blog has helped me grow and has pushed me to be better. I want to be get better at blogging, and maybe I will someday but considering the amount of changes that are occurring in my life now (I will elaborate shortly) I think at least for now my blog won't be my main priority.

This time of year is very special for people, it's back to school which is a new beginning and those of us not in school still feel nostalgic for the feeling back to school evokes, excitement and nervousness combined. It's time to say goodbye to the carefree relaxed attitude of summer and start tightening up and settling back into the real world, but it's definitely not necessarily a bad thing. Right now I'm finishing up packing my bags, emptying out my apartment and mentally preparing myself for life back in Canada as a single mom. Yes, the great German Experiment didn't work out, for a variety of reasons but none so glaring as the fact that I was completely isolated here. Right now I'm saying goodbye to the family that I have been apart of since arriving, I'm saying goodbye to  the man I spent the last three years with, and I'm saying goodbye to my last carefree summer before I step back into the real world. I can't say that I am going back home, because I'm not, yes I consider Canada as a country home but none of the individual cities in which I have lived are home, not even the one I grew up in. As someone who has never had much inclination to travel, I've done more than my fair share of packing my bags and starting life somewhere new, but now I need to maintain a level of stability, not for me but for the tiny human coming with me. We are going back to family, to a new "home" where I will have support and he will have plenty of love, but it still won't be easy. Perhaps I will use blogging again to document my new life, it may help me stay grounded after all, but no promises as my plate is already overloaded. Right now I can't make any plans, all I can do is pack and say goodbye and then just see what happens when we step back onto the airplane.

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